Burning the School Down

Posted on October 6, 2010


So, did you kiddies want to know about what a responsible young adult I am? Of course you don’t, you want to hear about how I set the fire alarm off and burnt up my best pan. Here goes:

Really the only thing that motivates me to wash dishes is when I run out of dishes. I’ll drink juice out of Tupperware, eat pasta with two knives, and eat soup from a measuring cup before I’ll wash dishes. Discovering new objects to act as plates is a daily adventure. Coffee filters, textbooks, and clean socks are all good substitutes. And, did you know that plates have TWO SIDES?! This means you can use a plate, and then flip it over, and it’s like you have a whole new plate! Amazing, right?

Anyways, this morning I wanted to make a breakfast burrito, but just about all my pans were dirty. So I washed my best one, and to dry it off I turned the stove on high and set the pan on the burner. (I know, there are several faces hitting palms with a resounding smack right about now.) I then sat at my computer and promptly forgot about it. That is, until the fire alarm went off.

The kitchen was full of smoke. I turned the stove off, the fan on high, closed my suitmates’ door, and wrenched window open. Then I ran back into my room, shut the kitchen door, opened the front door, and climbed on top of a chair so I could get at the smoke detector. I pressed the button, I held the button, I soundly beat it across the face, I tried to rip it out of ceiling.

Just so you know, when the fire alarm goes off in my building, everyone has to evacuate, school security officers show up, and the C.A.s have to search every single room in our five-story apartment building. This generally takes about two hours. So, yeah, that’s why I really wanted to turn that thing off.

Anyways, after a few moments, the smoke detector did turn off, and no one had evacuated, so I went back in the kitchen to examine my pan.

And if you were wondering, charred stainless steel dust makes for a tasty breakfast burrito.

Posted in: Random Bloggage